Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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