the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
