i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
