I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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