some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
