like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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