If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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