i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
