I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
