I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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