By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
