The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
A bitchslap is in order.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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