you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
