Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
