that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
