How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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