I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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