So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
