I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
