I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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