no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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