Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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