she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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