so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i've created a new STD.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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