If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
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Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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