All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
