Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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