Sry I called you an 8
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
