Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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