she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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