her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
