And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
