He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
