Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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