i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i need some magic done to my vagina
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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