Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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