Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have fence marks all over my body
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
