Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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