Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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