I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
