areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
