yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
