Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
