Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The air was thick with penises
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
