Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
