I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
