We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize