Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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