Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
