It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
this hospital has no fireball
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
