Where are you?
In a non slutty way
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
