omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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