you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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