i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
