is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
