So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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