I CAN MOONWALK!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
