Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
