kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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