you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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