so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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