I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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