You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Your mouth is God's brothel.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize