Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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