He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
