If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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