i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize