I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
